friendship,
understanding,
acceptance,
affection,
validation,
affirmation,
unconditional love.
A safe place
to park my heart,
a shoulder to lean on,
a sister to laugh with,
a friend to surprise
and to care for.
People to serve,
a cause to defend,
something to create,
the words to persuade.
Oh LORD, please fill my empty spaces!
Show me what it means to be
"satisfied" and "full."
Nothing in this life can completely
meet my needs except YOU.
I long to be content.
Morning Jess,
ReplyDeleteWhat a bold and transparent post hon!!
My heart really goes out to you, because I have been there and know how painful that can be. I think too, this is all part of the midlife process, as our lives change from a full nest to an empty, and so many things change that throw our equilibrium off. It is
sort of like a lil identity crisis of sorts.
All the things you listed we have all felt at one time or another, and I think it is just God's way of pressing us towards Him. In my walk, I have noticed that when the Lord decides to make a change sometimes the pendulum swings all the way from one side to the other. At one time I felt just like you,
I desired all that, which is totally normal for all of us, but I believe in God's growing up process he changes things for a purpose. I was always used to having lots of friends around me and doing things with them, then it came to a time where I kept making friends only to lose them, to moves, or to them going back to work.
Honestly, I got where I really didn't care if I had any friends, cause I had the Lord and I had my hubby.......and I grew in contentment with that and as time has gone on the pendulum is coming back to center, I am building relationships once again, but this time with more balance and less neediness, and I find myself really having to work at it, which in the past was not that way at all. So that is very new for me, but I am also more careful in that relationship building... not interested in one way relationships either, which in the past I did settle for. Relationships are to be reciprocal, not that we keep score cards are anything like that, but we have all had people that we have tried to have relationships with where we were the only one doing all the work. Always the one to invite, always the one to call, always the one to do for them, and that is just not healthy or fun!! lol I have come to the realization that although at one time I desired to have a close bond with many people, that it is okay, not to have a close bond and
likely you want have a close bond with a lot of people, but there will be some, and we are to cherish and nurture those precious gifts from the Lord. Just know you are in God's process and try to embrace that if you can,
cause this too shall pass, sometimes it just takes awhile. Sometimes life is hard, but God is good.......you will come out of this a much wiser, stronger and better Sweet lady that you are now.
Hope this encourages your heart in some way
and brings a lil Sonshine to you!!
Love ya, Nellie
I love what Nellie said...sometimes our longings are God's way of pressing us towards Him. You are so right on to ask God to fill all the empty spaces. A lesson I seem to have to constantly
ReplyDeletere-learn. Take care friend...We have an anchor!