Is Your LIFE in His HANDS?

LIFE is so uncertain.
Yet we often coast through our days, taking people and blessings for granted.

Last weekend I drove 600 miles by myself to visit with family.  The trip involved an appointment with an estate attorney, because my father was turning 85.  What a reminder that life speeds by so quickly!
I needed the strength of the LORD to get me through a very emotional few days, and He used a song by singer Kathy Troccoli..."My Life Is In Your Hands"...to bolster me.

How grateful I am, that I can run to GOD for support and comfort.  How blessed I am to believe wholeheartedly that even though all else fails, HE is with me and loves me.
May you know that same kind of Love and Grace!

Here are the words to her song:

Life can be so good

Life can be so hard
Never knowing what each day
Will bring to where you are

Sometimes I forget
And sometimes I can't see
That whatever comes my way
You'll be with me

My life is in your hands
My heart is in your keeping
I'm never without hope
Not when my future is with you

My life is in your hands
And though I may not see clearly
I will lift my voice and sing
Cause your love does amazing things
Lord, I know, my life is in your hands

Nothing is for sure
Nothing is for keeps
All I know is that your love
Will live eternally

So I will find my way,
And I will find my peace
Knowing that you'll meet my every need!

When I'm at my weakest love
You carry me
Then I become my strongest love
In your hands!

Heavenly Jewelry

If you could choose what to wear into heaven, what would it be?
Would you pick a cherished ball gown from a memorable cruise, a tailored suit or your favorite pair of skinny jeans?
Would you dance into GOD’s presence in padded slippers or stiletto heels?
If you had a choice, would you greet Him without adornment or decked out in your most expensive jewelry?


Of course these are silly questions. We can’t select anything of this world to take with us into Heaven. The perishable cannot enter the eternal. Yet, I couldn’t resist the thought that GOD was adorning my mother in a special way the day we laid her body to rest.

You see, Mom was so classy. She was an Alfred Dunner type of woman, casually chic, with a little bohemian bent! And she loved to wear her jewelry, often pairing two gold necklaces together. One of her trademarks was a classic 18K gold, link bracelet which "clinked" as it slapped the surface of table tops whenever she put pen to paper. Earrings were an essential to frame her face and bring light to her eyes! Never would she leave the house without adornment on her ears or color on her lips, pre-requisites I’ve carried on. Appearance meant a lot to her, especially having climbed the corporate ladder with my father in the 1950’s and 60’s. Ever the “lady,” the way she presented herself always made me proud to be her daughter.

However, none of this was on my mind the day of her funeral when I purchased 13 white, pearlescent helium balloons. My intention was for friends and family to release them in her memory before we left the grave site. Supplying black markers, I invited those in attendance to write a farewell sentiment on their balloon if they desired. Then we released them into the balmy April afternoon and they rose together in a string of beauty!  Perfectly spaced, the balloons inscribed with our caring thoughts formed the shape of a glorious pearl necklace sent to adorn her. The “necklace” maintained its gentle curve against the deep blue sky all the way until it faded from view. It whispered peace to my heart. Even in this small detail, GOD was showing me how much He loved her…how much He loved me!

A Daughter's Final Gift!

Who doesn't like to receive gifts?

We all enjoy being thought of, don't we?

Well, I LOVE giving gifts...it is one of my Love languages.

Over the years I gave many gifts to my mother in an effort to see her happy.  She was such a complex woman.  The trauma of her childhood created a deep abyss in her soul and she self medicated with wine and vodka to cover her pain.

My regular notes and gift books, flowers and paintings, all brought fleeting smiles.  And when I presented her with grandchildren, that was pure magic because she so enjoyed their early years.   Still, her "liquid lover" (alcohol) kept her from truly receiving the love I offered.  As my children left the nest and my Mom moved close by, I needed to deal with the rejection I had felt despite all of my attempts to connect with her. 

And so it was that GOD did a mighty work in me!   As my care-giving duties increased, HE enabled me to give my Mom the best gift in the world...Forgiveness.

I was only able to give it because it was HIS Forgiveness flowing through me.   How remarkable that GOD loves us when we are unlovely...and HE empowers us to do the same for those around us!

(2007)

For over a year I have known that I was supposed to write the story of what HE did in my relationship with my Mom... about the final gift I gave her.

Though I have let illness and busyness, a major move and ministry needs derail my attempts to obey, NOW is the time to do it.  I am so thankful for all those who are praying for me to be  diligent in writing.  Please keep praying that I will allow GOD's SPIRIT to lead me to completion!  I'm not sure how much I will post on this Blog, but the following is an excerpt from the chapter on weight:

"During my pre-adolescent years, long before VCRs and DVDs, our family would gather around the black and white television to watch The Wizard of Oz.   You might remember that it became a holiday event.  That’s when I fell in love with the character of Dorothy.  Actually, I fell in love with Judy Garland’s yearning rendition of “Somewhere Over The Rainbow.”  The song was haunting and inspiring all at the same time.  It described the longing in my heart to be somewhere else…anywhere more joyful, more loving,  more safe.  It became my favorite song, the one father would request if we happened to be in a place with live music.  That particular combination of lyrics and tune formed an invisible bottle opener, lifting the edge of my sealed-off hurt, allowing the escape of hope-scented tears. 

When I researched Judy Garland’s tormented life for a book report in junior high, I realized that her stardom came at a huge cost. One area that was always under scrutiny was her weight. Of petite stature, she carried curves of “baby fat” into her career and was put on endless deprivation diets. I remember reading once that she went for weeks consuming nothing more than toast and tea. In some small way, I could relate. 

My mother told me I was fat when I was 5 and half years old... "

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As always I am interested in your relationship with your Mom.  Feel free to share with us your triumphs and trials...I long to encourage you. 

Blessings to you and yours. 

Just Wondering...

If you were to write a book about your relationship with your Mother, what would you title it?

Really, what would it be called?  I'd like to know.

In my case, I've thought of titles like:  "Searching for Mother,"  "The Dutiful Daughter," and  "A Daughter's Final Gift."

Right now I'm reading a fascinating book by Patricia Beard (1999) entitled:  Good Daughters.
FYI, on page 18 she lists the goals of the "good daughter":

~ To help our mothers find meaning and comfort at the end of their lives.
~To have relationships with them that satisfy us both, and to engage with them as adults, with mutual respect.
~To love our mothers as uncritically as we did when we were children- or at least to be better than we have been lately at showing them that we love them.

What do you think about these? 
Any you would change or add?

God bless you and your mother.

Twenty Eight Years Ago Today...

I became a mother!

Motherhood is a privilege often
taken for granted.

Yet many are saddened by infertility,
so I appreciate the blessing all the more.

Katie Grace changed my life forever.

She is my only daughter and so close to my heart.

The love I have for her is deeper
than words can describe...

know what I mean?

Though she is busy raising her own children
out-of-state,

my thoughts walk beside her

and my prayers for her

bookend my days.

Truly the love I feel for her has helped me
love my own mother.

Though alcohol was a barrier to Mom's
expressions of love,

I came to understand that didn't diminish
the care she had for me.

On Katie's birthday, I am so thankful for

the awesome privilege
of watching her grow and blossom.

The challenges of parenting have been many

but the rewards ever more so.

I wouldn't have missed a day of it!

How about you?

Does your child's birthday

cause you to be introspective?

Does it remind you to be thankful?

An Award and A Purpose

Dear Ones, thank you for checking in from time to time, and thank you for sharing about your relationships with your Moms.
I started this Blog specifically as a forum to express the powerful feelings that daughters experience as they "dance" with their mothers.

All women are DAUGHTERS, so we all have a dance. 

We were raised by imperfect women, with their own "hurts, hang-ups and habits," who struggled with their own feelings about their mothers.  They either waltzed, or tangoed; marched or did the rumba.  Some women do a frenzied dance while others sway with grace and peace.

Maybe your Mom is a self-less, nurturing woman and you have basked in her unconditional love.
Praise GOD if you were blessed with such a mother. 

Perhaps you never knew unconditional love because your Mom was too damaged by her past, and didn't know how to give it to you.  That is my story.

Either way, as women who know the LOVE of Christ, we are called to love our Moms and honor them.
Maybe we can help each other bless our mothers, by sharing our hearts and the Hope we have in our relationship with GOD.

My friend Nellie over at Nellie's Cozy Place sent me an award last week and I want to pass it along.

She asked that I share 7 things about myself that you might not know....hmmm...let's see.

1)  I LOVE animals, but I'm allergic to their dander...so I can't have any kitty cats, doggies, otters or ferrets.  This has been a long time sadness for me, but I hope to have many animals in Heaven.

2)  I used to LOVE to ice skate during my childhood...mostly on in-door rinks,very fond memories.  The cold air made my eyes tear up, but my heart overflowed with joy.

3) MUSIC really touches my heart and I treasure sentimental lyrics and praise songs.

4) Photography is a favorite hobby of mine!  Cooking...not so much. 

5) I had the privilege to study in Austria when I was in college.  Such a fantastic experience which included tours of Italy, Britain, France, Germany and the Czech Republic.

6) Friendships are the Jewels of my life.  I treasure connectedness!

7) I married my high school sweetheart and have been blessed beyond measure with the unconditional love of an honorable, caring man for over 30 years.  Thank You LORD!

NOW, to pass on this award, I nominate three precious ladies:

 Diana at To Everything A Season  http://www.dfseason.blogspot.com/

 Kay at Nana's Nuggets http://www.Kaymiers.blogspot.com/

 Karen at Lily Valley http://www.lilyvalley-karen.blogspot.com/

  Please visit these sweet blogs, you will be encouraged!
 

The Love of a LDG!

I came across this photo today...my mother-in-law welcoming my 6 year old daughter in 1989.
Because we settled across the country, she was relegated to being a LDG: long distance grandma.
She lived in New Jersey and we lived in the Seattle area.  We tried to get "home" at least once a year.
Though she had several children and grandchlidren living in town, she missed our family in a way I could not have understood until now...

Now that I am a LDG!

Looking at the tender intensity of her hug, caught on film, I relate completely to the sense of joy in seeing a grandchild after months of absence.  I relate to the sense of longing that we were closer.  I imagine that she prayed for GOD to move us closer...I know that I pray that way for my children and grands.

"LORD, please bless LDG's in a special way!  Thank you for the miracles of technology like email and Skype.  May your perfect will be done in each of our lives. Amen."