Whether your mother is loving or distant, caring or critical, this is a place to stop and reflect about the challenge of that maternal bond.
All daughters and mothers are welcome!

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Great Fiction and Thoughts on Love...

Francine Rivers' saga about mother/daughter relationships, "Her Mother's Hope," is a powerful book about the way women misunderstand each other.  You might see glimpses of your own mother/daughter relationships in her story, I know that I did.  Francine has the ability to draw you into a story as if you are right there with her characters.  I highly recommend any of her wonderful books, and this tale has a sequel that is now available (and in the mail to me as I type!).

Well, as I begin in earnest to explore the root of tensions between my mother and me, I'm realizing that so much of it has to do with "how" we tried to express love.  The fact is there was love between us, but it wasn't easy to receive it.  The characters in "Her Mother's Hope" struggle with this very dilemma.

Ever heard of "The Five Love Languages" by author Gary Chapman?  As individuals, we receive love in different ways.  Some "feel" loved when they hear words of encouragement, for others love is communicated through physical touchActs of service is another way people feel loved by others and spending quality time is yet another way to communicate love. Finally, gift giving is also a way that some people receive the message of love.

Which Love Language best communicates that YOU are Loved?
1) Words of Encouragement
2) Physical Touch
3) Acts of Service
4) Quality Time
5) Gift Giving
(*not necessarily in the author's order)
The struggle comes when we automatically "love" others in the way we receive love.  Because they may not be "getting it!"  It takes time to figure out which love language speaks to which person.
If we really love someone, we'll make the effort to discover what fills their emotional tank:  encouraging words, physical touch, acts of service, quality time or gift giving.

LOVE is a verb, and sometimes we get lazy and passive about showing it.
What will you do today to show someone you love them?

1 comment:

  1. Wonderful post, and I think I hear the start of your book!
    I've often thought about the 5 love languages and I've often thought I must have something really wrong with me, because I need all the above! Any of the 5 work pretty well for me and I think I show love by all 5 as well. In fact, I was mortified recently when we went to hear a presentation and without thinking, I gave our financial advisor a hug upon greeting him. YIKES! Fortunately even though it was a business situation, the man is openly a Christian and maybe that's what prompted me to hug him. My hubby would probably say that Acts of Service would be high on my list. Thanks for this thought provoking post Jess!