Whether your mother is loving or distant, caring or critical, this is a place to stop and reflect about the challenge of that maternal bond.
All daughters and mothers are welcome!

Friday, December 31, 2010

Starting Anew

 A New Year, a New Chapter!

As uncertainty looms for many of us,
especially if you are out of work like my husband is...
anticipating something special or better in the new year
can be a challenge.

But so much of life unfolds in an unexpected way!
Truly, we have no guarantees in this world...
the LOVE of GOD found in JESUS CHRIST.

Know Him and know Peace.

I'm reminded of a simple and profound hymn
that I learned in 1978 when I
first came to Christ:  Trust and Obey.

If I take the lyrics to heart:
Trust and obey for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus,
but to trust and obey.

Then my trusting eliminates fretting or worrying!

Praying that when 2011 ends
I will look back and see
that I was better at trusting and obeying.

~ New Year's Blessings to You and Yours  ~

Friday, December 24, 2010

Under My Roof!

I woke up at 4:00am and made a cup of tea.
It is Christmas Eve morning and I am thrilled to have both of my children and both of my grandchildren under my roof!
They've all come "home" for Christmas!
From busy lives and dizzy schedules, they hopped on planes and braved the crowds, all to spend this wonderful time of year with their folks.  And my heart overflows!

This Christmas is extra special, as it is the last one we will ever spend in our cozy home in Central Florida.
After 11 1/2 years, GOD is moving us on and He hasn't told us where yet!
Surprises are fun and this one will be a particular delight...when we find out where we are moving to.

But for this moment, I have all my chicks gathered and even if my head won't clear from the fog of a nasty cold, I will enjoy every moment...reading books to my 4yo grandson, doing puzzles, playing dominos, baking Christmas cookies, snuggling with my 6 month old grandson, watching movies and singing songs!

~ This grandmother's heart is full ~

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Christmas Already?

Dear Ones,

How are you doing with all your Christmas preparations?
Somehow the season has taken me by surprise!
How is it possible that the first week in December has come and gone?
Oh, how I'd like to enjoy this annual celebration of Christ's First Advent.
I tell myself that it's not too late...maybe I can factor in some rest and reflection...how about you?

Of course I'm hosting a staff party tonight for my Pregnancy Center Volunteers,
then another party for the Board of Directors next week and attending various get togethers for my husband's ministries. Oh, to keep my eyes on Christ!

And enjoy the real meaning of this festive month.

Anticipating a great blessing in just 14 days!
Daughter Katie and her family will be joining us which means we will have
GRANDCHILDREN in the house!
My heart will be soooooooooooo full...I can't wait.

Praying for you to know the best blessings of Christmas
the Love, Peace and Hope
found in Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Thankful Thoughts

The Glorious colors of autumn

speak to me of my Master's Joy,
sometimes elusive.


I dare not look away,
or be distracted
for my natural eyes are prone to miss
the evidence of HIS Glory!

Praising HIM for all the beauty
that surrounds us...
Praising HIM for the promise of eternal life.
Praising HIM for the blessing of
family and friends...
Praising HIM for grace that abounds
in every corner of my life.

~ Praising HIM with Thankful Thoughts ~

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Ladies in the Mirror

Mom and me, circa 1979 ~ Colorado
I guess it boils down to imprinting.
Just as a newborn chick waddles after the first moving object it sees upon hatching, so our mothers imprint on us!
A definition for imprinting: (n) A learning process occurring early in the life of a social animal in which a behavior pattern is established through association with a parent or other role model.

In so many cases we struggle to differentiate ourselves from our mothers only to be like them the older we get!  Hmmmm...I see my mom more and more in the little gestures that I make...automatic responses to situations, both happy and sad.

When I recognize her in the way I spontaneously hold my hands,
it surprises me.

Then I miss her.
Yet, I carry her in my heart
as well as in my gestures.

Who is that woman in the mirror? 
A reflection of the generation that passed
and a glimpse of the one taking the stage...
I wonder in what ways
my daughter will mirror me?

"LORD, help us to mirror YOU!
Your Love is selfless and unconditional.
Please mold us by Your Spirit
into our best selves!"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

When You Least Expect It...

You're ready to let go!

Tonight, in the midst of packing for vacation, when my mind was absorbed with a myriad of details, I decided to throw out 6 pairs of shoes that I can no longer wear.  Now, that may not seem significant at first telling but let me explain...These pairs of shoes ranged in cost from $100 to $180 each and I have been hanging on to them!

You see, the right shoe of each pair had an expensive, custom "lift" added when my hip surgery in 2004 left me with a 3/4's inch uneven gait.  That's why I didn't want to toss them.  And yet...it's been 10 months since my other hip was replaced (leaving me more even) and I can't wear the old shoes.  So, why the reticence to turn from the past and embrace the new?

Hmmmm...reminds me of a biblical principle about "newness" in 2 Corinthians 5:17 ~

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come."
and "...You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires."   Ephesians 4:22-24

How like GOD to inspire me when I least expected it, to LET GO of those old shoes and walk freshly in His Spirit!

What are you hanging onto that you should let go of?

~ Blessings to you and yours ~

Saturday, November 13, 2010


Two nights ago my pregnancy center hosted it's annual fundraising GALA.
So exciting, so exhausting!
The evening was wonderful with glamorous centerpieces, glorious music from my church choir, delicious food and loving fellowship among the well dressed guests.

Our speaker, Sol Pitchon from New Life Services, gave an anointed message about his extraordinary story.  Both of his parents are Holocaust survivors and it is truly a miracle that he was ever born.  Now he oversees a large ministry in southeast Florida in an attempt to rescue women and babies from abortion.

Thankfully, ALL of the details and logistics for the event came together...only by God's Grace.
Indeed, I had so many "balls in the air" that I doubted I could catch them all.  BUT God, by His Spirit, enabled me to field the details almost as if I had a butterfly net and was scooping them up and placing them in order!

A poignant part of the evening for me was that I chose to wear a dress that I had purchased for the 2004 Banquet.  I mean, it's always good to recycle, right?   Well, I had both the dress and jacket shortened so they felt "new" and then added a headband with a crystal bow for punch. 

You see my Mom was with me when I originally picked out this dress.
I guess the "missing" never goes away.
So thankful for the happy memories...what a treasure they are!

The "hand-me-downs mentioned in the title?"... Her love of jewelry.
While on this earth, she was certainly a classy lady!

And her gumption to make a difference! 
          Thank you Mom.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

SELF Denial

I can't think of a better crash course in "dying to self"  than motherhood!

Come to think of it, that's why grandparenting is sooooooooo delightful...we get all the joy and much less sacrifice. =)
Those long sleepless nights at the beck and call of your infant, the worries over extreme diaper rash or hacking coughs and high temperatures!  Been there, done that and paid my dues.

BUT, I wish I lived closer to my daughter and Grands to give them some relief, "comic" and otherwise!
As the mother of two boys, she sounds tired but upbeat.  Her husband is precious and Her GOD is faithful.
What a blessing to see my daughter's family following JESUS with their time, talents and treasure.
I am so blessed to be a witness of their faith and thankful to GOD for His mercy to all of us.

Indeed, on this Thankful Thursday I praise GOD for the FRUIT of FAITH, for lives that are being transformed by the power of His Holy Spirit, for the blessings of self-denial.

How about you?

Is there something difficult in your life right now that is exacting all of your patience and endurance?
Are you running out of steam?
Take up your cross and follow HIM!
Press into His Goodness and let His Joy be your strength.
You'll never regret it!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

It's in the Bag!

We give a "mixed bag" of experiences to our kids, don't we?
The best and the worst of us: sometimes heroic, sometimes dictatorial, often times self-absorbed.  Our children are witnesses to our lives...the public and private personas that are "us."

It was a delight for me to see my grown daughter (my 27 year old firstborn) using an eclectic suede bag that my father brought me from South America in the late 1960's.  It was a favored "purse" that I didn't use much and so I gave it to her decades ago.  Watching her carry it on errands, juggling her two little ones, made me wonder about what else she has "saved" from her upbringing and what is useful to her.

In and of myself, I had nothing notable to give to my kids.
Raised in a very dysfunctional family, wounded by conditional love and the hurts of alcoholic parents, I would have undoubtedly passed on the same to the next generation.
But GOD.

When JESUS came into my life in 1978, HE began an overhaul of the damaged parts of my soul...a transformation that continues through this day and until I meet HIM face-to-face.

Because of HIM, I know that the "bag" of behavior and tradition I handed off to my children contains eternally important things like: 
Faith, Hope and Love.

"Thank You Lord for your merciful work
in my life
and for your promises to be with my children
for generations to come!"

How about You...what's in your bag?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

A Tale of Three Necklaces

Recently I read a quote that went something like this:
The most precious "jewelry" a woman can wear around her neck is her children's arms!

Though I'm not sure if I got the wording right, the sentiment found it's mark in my heart!
Those of you who follow Jewels For The Journey, know that I LOVE jewelry.
As an art major and admirer of all sparkly things, I'm fascinated by jewelry for it's design and bling.
Though I've cultivated this "hobby" for most of my life, I treasure my children and grandchildren even more!
Still, it's fun when my two "LOVES" intertwine, such as in the following:

My Grandma Esta gave me one of her necklaces soon after I was married.  When I wore it, I felt special and professional!  Then one day, while I was walking to the Ferry Terminal in Seattle to go home after work,  I yanked on my sweater and must have loosened the clasp.  Later on the boat, as I was changing into my sweats (I rode a moped from the terminal to our house)  I noticed that the necklace was MISSING.  Frantically, I searched all around the sitting area to no avail ...my heart was grieved.

The lesson GOD taught me as I trudged despondently up the ramp that evening in 1980, has stuck with me ever since.
HE whispered to my sad heart that what was really important to me could never be "lost."
Instantly I sensed that my relationships were far more valuable than treasured jewelry and they couldn't be lost or stolen, unless I was careless to give them up.
Then, just like a loving Father, HE saw to it that the necklace was returned to me the next day!
Even after we called the terminal and were told that nothing like that had been turned into the lost and found.
Thanking Gram for the gift
of such a sweet necklace and
Thanking GOD for such a valuable lesson.

This fun necklace is my very first Mother's Day Gift!  Created by my daughter when she was in pre-school, circa 1987.  It too was "lost"... as she hid it so well in her bedroom to surprise me that we didn't find it until 2 years later when we moved to another house! 
Thank You Katie for this precious, handmade jewel!

Finally, I acquired a charm necklace when my Mother died. 
In the '90s, she had it made with several charms from her travels.  I've given many of her original charms to her sisters and nieces, as I wanted to share her memories with those who miss her like I do.
But, now I've added charms of my own...a sorority pin, the "pin" from my husband's engineering school, a heart, a cross, a vagabond critter, an estribo and sombrero.  Wearable history and oh, so fun!
Thank You Mom for your inspiration. 
You are a glamorous Lady.

So, those are three necklaces that adorn my life,
 but truly the HUGS of my Grands
are the most precious of all!
~ Blessings ~

Sunday, October 3, 2010

The Eyes Have IT

I was scrolling through my photos today and saw this picture of my Mom.
What fun to see the joy in her eyes! 
This picture was taken at a Ladies' Tea at our church in 2007 when I was privileged to be the speaker.
She had recently battled back from three surgeries on her spine and had no idea that a recurring lung cancer was in her  near future. 
But that was a banner day for her and she was HAPPY! 
Her good friend June had traveled to be with her and they both really enjoyed themselves at the Tea.
It warms my heart to see JOY in her eyes.
Despite our difficulties over the years, she really did love me. And for that I am forever thankful.

Remember... our eyes give away our emotions.
May we strive to let Christ's Love shine through!
Matthew 6:22

Friday, October 1, 2010

Longing For...

unconditional love.

A safe place
to park my heart,
a shoulder to lean on,
a sister to laugh with,
a friend to surprise
and to care for.

People to serve,
a cause to defend,
something to create,
the words to persuade.

Oh LORD, please fill my empty spaces!
Show me what it means to be
"satisfied" and "full."

Nothing in this life can completely
meet my needs except YOU. 
I long to be content.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

A Bottle for Tears

Tears of sorrow,
Tears of shame,
Tears of joy,
Tears brimming with hope,
Tears of true humility...

Each of our tears matters to GOD.
HE made us for fellowship
and He cares about our feelings.

My Sweet friend Becky gave me this precious jar
on the eve of my daughter's wedding in 2005.
She knew the tears I would shed were priceless.

"You keep track of all my sorrows,
You have collected all my tears
in Your bottle."

How about you?
What brings tears to your eyes?

Friday, September 24, 2010

Looking for...

No mother is perfect...
we all do the best that we can.
Not until a woman has children of her own,
does she appreciate how difficult
the act of mothering is... 
trying to meet so many needs!

Only GOD can meet the deep
emotional, mental and spiritual
needs of children...
that's why HE is our loving and faithful
Heavenly Father!

My mother was a very wounded child.
She was a very unhappy mother.
Though she failed to connect with her children
in so many ways,
she left a BIG mark on our lives
and a BIG hole when she died.
Her greatest legacy: 
She was a wonderful grandmother!

I still crave unconditional love...
something she couldn't give me
because she never knew it.

How about you?
What did you need from your Mom
that you must trust GOD for?
He longs to meet us at our point of need...
He is the lover of our souls.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Oh How She Loved...


Whenever I wanted to bless my Mom,
I looked for a book to buy her.

She would often read the NY Times Book Reviews,
order a book and then tape the review inside the
front cover.

I'm not sure where this love of the printed word
came from.  But I do know this:
though she never had the opportunity
to go to college, she relished
the challenge of learning.

As some of you know who visit me at
Jewels For The Journey,
I have been "digging out" the clutter
in my office that has accumulated
during the past year. 

And last week I came across a very special box!
Inside I found several books
I had given my mother over the years.

Any of you recognize the sweet, pink book by Joan Walsh Anglund?
It was copywritten in 1960
and I gave it to Mom in 1970.
Those precious illustrations recall a far more
innocent time and trigger happy memories.

And this is one of the last books I gave her.

Here is how I inscribed it:

May our Faithful Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
see you through this  difficult time of  recuperation.  
Love always!
 “Do not grieve, 
for the Joy  of the Lord
                       is your strength.”                     
Jeremiah 8:10
Do you love books too?
Share some of your favorites with us!

Friday, September 3, 2010


Aprons are not as common as they were in the mid 1900's but they are still very useful for...
protecting one's clothes, drying one's hands and attaching one's children!
No doubt you've heard the expression, "Cut the apron strings" which refers to releasing one's offspring into society...to sink or swim, falter or fly.  What a hard thing to do!

As more of my friends lament their children's departure for college, and others prepare for weddings and the birth of grandchildren, I'm keenly aware of the "letting go" process.  In fact, since the month of September marks the beginning of school in many places, with a multitude of  kids going off to kindergarten or freshman year, shouldn't we recognize the grieving Moms left behind? 

Maybe we could proclaim a national holiday sponsored by the Kleenex Corporation to honor those struggling to "cut their children loose."  How about a "Good Job! Mom" Holiday filled with roses and balloons and CHOCOLATE.  Are you with me?

My two children are only 20 months apart in age, so when my daughter was driving and working at a fast food restaurant, my son was right behind her.  He even landed a job at the same restaurant and many evenings they would be working the same shift.  Often, my husband and I went for ice cream so that we could sit and "watch" our kids!  Pretty pathetic ...and fattening!  I think the rest of the staff got a kick out of us, though we may have embarrassed our children a bit (not intentionally mind you).

When I was struggling with my emptying nest, a dear friend who was many years my senior sent me the following.  It really helped me and maybe it will help you or someone you know.

Questions To Grow On ~
by Janet Hitchman

Where have you felt the touch of the Lord the strongest?
In the protected harbor, or on the open sea?
Does the soft breeze challenge you to grow?
Or the storm that blows you from the security of home?
Is it time to let the young eagle fly, so it can strengthen it's wings?
Or continue to carry it on your back?

Interesting how the Lord uses the trials and traumas in our lives
to draw us closer to HIM!
His desire is to use us for His Glory...
And the Giants of the faith are those who go through the crucible of fire.
He is always with us and will never forsake us!
Praise to His Glorious Name!

As a Mom, my job is to raise my children to love and trust their Heavenly Father.
Then comes the day when they need to walk with Him apart from my steadying
hand and tethering apron strings.  Just as the umbilical cord was cut at birth, so I have to release my grown children to their own lives.  Not an easy task, but so fulfilling with the right perspective.
It's not that we stop dancing with our kids, it's just that the tempo and footwork change!
I'm still learning this new dance, how about you?

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Ode to My Daughter

In 1983, GOD blessed me with my first child ~
a daughter!
Of course her birth changed my life forever, in ways I could never have imagined. We named her Katherine Grace and she has indeed graced our lives.
Through the years, my heart has been
                                fiercely protective,
                                 overflowing with pride and
                                         needy for her love
                                                all at the same time!

The following is a free form poem I wrote to her
during her first year at college as she struggled with discerning God's will for her life...

There was a little girl with auburn tresses,
who blessed my life one September morn.
To say that I would never be the same is true...
because her arrival changed everything!

Her eyes were deep pools of the richest brown,
so I called her "chocolate pudding eyes."
And there swirled about her an aura
of independence and adventure,
for she was never clingy nor complacent.

Determination and loyalty
became her trademarks;
Analysis and interpretation her hobbies.
Though her beauty was natural and striking,
she was blind to it...
Until she let the Lord show her
how she pleased Him.

Devoted to the Word of God,
and intent on pursuing Christ ~
She felt keenly the evil of a culture
sold out to death.
Hopeful to make a difference,
she saw the challenges and wondered...

How would God use her in the future?
What path should she take?
Why couldn't she see the next step
and proceed with confidence?

When answers were only whispers
signaling her to wait,
She was tempted to despair, but...
"Trust and Obey, for there's no other way,
to be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey."

The process of trusting and walking by faith
was daunting;
Certainly she should take some action!
But gently, Jesus reassured her that all things
were under His control.

He was unfolding His plan at the appropriate time and my mother’s heart counseled:
“Hold tight, little one.
Don’t you fret.
For our loving Lord has heard your cries
and He will lead you ever so tenderly
in the way you should go.”

Only He knew that a young man of faith
was to burst into her life and that her future
would be quickly intertwined with his.

So, my prayer for her continues…
"Sweet Katie,
Let God’s Joy be your banner,
His peace be your rest ~
May His Light shine through you brightly,
And loving others, remain your quest."
If you are the mother of daughters or daughters-in-law, please share with us your insights and joys.

Saturday, August 21, 2010


Some people are REALLY difficult to love!  No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to reach them.
Because of past hurts or deep neediness, they seem incapable of receiving the love and affirmation we try desperately to give them.  It's like trying to cross a mountain divide on your hands and knees...

I know this because I have lived it.

My mom survived a challenging childhood, where as the oldest of four daughters, she had too much responsibility and not enough care.  Since I was a child, I've known that both of my parents lacked unconditional love and both needed parental attention.  And though my childhood was not as difficult as theirs (they tried to parent differently), they passed on a lot of the hurts and insecurities that shaped them.

It wasn't until I met the LORD Jesus Christ at the age of 23, that I began to understand what unconditional love is.  Until then I never felt good enough, thin enough, loved enough or even understood! 
You see, how can you pass on deep and lasting affirmation if you've never experienced it?  How can you give good water from a dry or poisoned well? 
Apart from a relationship with Christ, I believe it is almost impossible to "give" to another person the positive emotions you don't possess yourself. 

I wrote the following poem in response to my mother's reactions, after years of trying to please her and show her my love...

Never Enough

You’re a hard one to please,
With your penchant for rejection.
You’re so difficult to approach
With your fighter’s stance.
It’s you against the world,
And there’s no second chance.
My daughter’s heart, though bruised,
Always yearns for connection, yet -
Only God can show you
How much you’ve been loved.
Only He can take away the veil.
Only God can touch the nerve of denial,
That keeps your heart from appreciating…
   The many kind deeds,
    The many sweet thoughts,
     The many sincere prayers –  
        I’ve offered through the years.
No, I never gave this to her.  Just writing it was cathartic and enabled me to start afresh. 
The exciting thing is that Mom eventually gave her heart to Christ and her ability to accept love and return it grew.  How wonderful it was to watch...how wonderful it is to see the transforming LOVE of JESUS
in other's lives! 
                Continue to change me too, oh GOD!
                 For, indeed ~ YOU ARE ENOUGH.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Weighty WORDS

"I hate you!  I wish I had never been born!"
                  "You just don't UNDERSTAND!"
                  "You're going out dressed like THAT!"

Why do negative words hurt so much?
Insensitive criticisms stab and rip at our hearts leaving us bleeding and wounded for years.

In the mother/daughter relationship, the responsibility rests with the mother to model considerate and honoring speech.  Oh, sometimes I wish I could abdicate my role as "role model" and just speak my heart about my feelings...unfortunately there have been times when I've acted more like a child than the mother.
That's when I'm reminded of the power of forgiveness (when I need it so much!).

We all mess up by saying things we wish we hadn't!  And the challenge to control our tongues is so important because once words leave our mouths, they have a life of their own.  Try as we might, we can NOT retrieve them!

So with good will towards our mothers and children, we must weigh our words, because they have lifelong consequences.  This takes great intentionality...thinking before we speak!
Check out what the scriptures say in the Book of James, chapter 3.

Will my words build her up?
Will my words gently correct and guide, or tear her down and wound her spirit?

"LORD, please fill my mind and heart with YOUR words!   YOU convict but never condemn.  YOU are always kind and caring, help me to be too."

"Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances."
                                                                                                Proverbs 25:11

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Taking My Cue...

At the moment I was born, I was dependent on my mother for survival.  As I grew past the immediate needs for food, sleep and cleanliness, I developed a keen awareness of her and her temperament.  I became adept at "taking my cue" from her emotional state.

The dictionary says that a "cue" is a perceived signal for action...one producing "an operant response."
Doesn't that sum up the essence of relationship?
We interrelate with others depending on our needs (or theirs) often taking our "cues" based on past experience. The Dance we do with our mothers is formatted by the cues we give each other.
                                                               ~ ~ ~
Today at a luncheon, a friend shared with me a little about her relationship with her Mom.
She described her life with her mother as one of extreme HIGHs and lows, saying that her mom is most likely manic depressive though never diagnosed as such. 
My friend said that if her mother was singing or playing music in the morning before school, then she and her sister knew they would find a lovely breakfast awaiting them.  However, if the house was silent in the early morning, or they heard the vacuum cleaner running, their cue was to leave by the back door!

How multifaceted our relationships our! 
And the "dance" we do with our mothers can get very complicated.

I was thinking about this tin sign I picked up for my Mom just a couple of years before she died.

She liked to be "in control" and had a very set way of doing things.  If we didn't listen to her suggestions we often regretted it, because she had gained much wisdom and was usually RIGHT!

Of course, I gave this little gift in good fun, and she was gracious enough at that point to receive it as such!

But, oh my, here's a magnet that MY daughter gave to me!

It certainly reminds me to laugh at myself and try to hold my tongue!

What kind of "cues" did you look for
from your Mother?

What kind of "cues" do you
give to others?


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Greatest of These is...


No matter how you slice it...it always comes down to a decision.
We have to decide to Love for the long haul.
~ ~ ~
Oh sure, there is the sizzle of romantic love,
the heart-filling comfort of sisterly love,
and the reassuring security of maternal love,
but even these come down to a

Because people change
and make selfish mistakes. 
Loved ones get hurt and then are hurtful.
People are people and we are prone to
blame, shun and  justify.
"LORD, help us!"

And Life circumstances affect the
maternal bond as well.
~ ~ ~
We have to continually decide to forgive
and extend grace. 
~ ~ ~
To love even when we don't feel like it,
because it pleases our Father in Heaven,
and brings a harvest of Grace.
~ ~ ~
One afternoon, when my mother was dying,
 I sat by her side as she lay in bed,
stroking her arm
and telling her I loved her.
After a few moments, she surprised me with these words:
"Why do you love an old woman
who has caused you so much pain?"

Oh my, I was not prepared for that question
and have often wondered what I would have
answered if given some warning
and time to prepare.

But without skipping a beat, I heard myself say...
"Because you are my Mom
and I LOVE my Mom."

She was silent and calm, receiving my words
and my heart was so glad that
I had made the decision to depend on God
for the Love I wanted to show my mother.
A decision I was to affirm time and again.

How precious and difficult those last days were.
How utterly faithful was GOD
to wrap us both in His Grace.

The Bible tells us the following:
"And now these three remain:
Faith, Hope and Love.
 But the greatest of these is Love."

Check out Chapter 13 of 1st Corinthians, known as the "Love Chapter."
If we take Paul's words seriously, we'll be better at making the decision to


Friday, August 6, 2010

Starting Out...

We start our dance with Mom by crying. Our lungs are assaulted by air, our eyes are blinded by light, the warmth of our mother's womb has been stripped away and we are exposed, naked, cold and held by unfamiliar hands.
The birth process is traumatic...for everyone ... baby, mom and dad.
Inside the womb, we hear our parents voices and experience light and shadow.
Outside of the womb, we continue our journey in relationships by learning how to bond.

It is crucial to learn the dance steps of our particular family.
Does Mom waltz or polka?  Does she square dance or tango?

Will she graciously correct me or fume with anger when I mess up?

I read a book a few years ago that I highly recommend.  It is entitled "A Daughter's Journey Home" by Dr. Linda Mintle. Her tagline reads: Finding a Way to Love, Honor and Connect with Your Mother.

Loving, honoring and connecting are blessings from GOD that are realized in our lives as we consciously choose forgiveness and humility.  I know, because I've been there.  I've felt the sting of unforgiveness and the incredible freedom forgiveness brings.

How about you?

Is there someone who needs your forgiveness today?  Maybe your mother?

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Sorting it ALL out...

If you're like me, you have a complicated relationship with your mother!
Whether sweet or sour, comforting or distancing, she's made a HUGE impact on your life.
This blog is my effort to sort out some of my feelings about "daughterhood."
I hope to share some encouragement for those of you who are still tangoing with your Mom. You see, my earthly dance with my mother ended on April 1st, 2008 and I miss her.
Oh, we had a complicated relationship indeed! But she is a classy, caring woman and I am proud that she is my MOM.

I hope you will join me in this journey and share with us your unique experience of "daughterhood." As we practice the steps in our individual dances, may our footwork be led by love and filled with joy.

A cautionary note as the music starts, let's avoid "mother-bashing" and extended pity parties. I know that many, many women have been hurt by their mothers and professional counselors can help with that kind of pain. Please seek help if the mothering you received was toxic or debilitating. Always remember, we all process emotional pain differently...and the great news is that there is One who loves us more than the "bestest" mother...His name is Jesus.