Whether your mother is loving or distant, caring or critical, this is a place to stop and reflect about the challenge of that maternal bond.
All daughters and mothers are welcome!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Taking My Cue...

At the moment I was born, I was dependent on my mother for survival.  As I grew past the immediate needs for food, sleep and cleanliness, I developed a keen awareness of her and her temperament.  I became adept at "taking my cue" from her emotional state.

The dictionary says that a "cue" is a perceived signal for action...one producing "an operant response."
Doesn't that sum up the essence of relationship?
We interrelate with others depending on our needs (or theirs) often taking our "cues" based on past experience. The Dance we do with our mothers is formatted by the cues we give each other.
                                                               ~ ~ ~
Today at a luncheon, a friend shared with me a little about her relationship with her Mom.
She described her life with her mother as one of extreme HIGHs and lows, saying that her mom is most likely manic depressive though never diagnosed as such. 
My friend said that if her mother was singing or playing music in the morning before school, then she and her sister knew they would find a lovely breakfast awaiting them.  However, if the house was silent in the early morning, or they heard the vacuum cleaner running, their cue was to leave by the back door!

How multifaceted our relationships our! 
And the "dance" we do with our mothers can get very complicated.

I was thinking about this tin sign I picked up for my Mom just a couple of years before she died.

She liked to be "in control" and had a very set way of doing things.  If we didn't listen to her suggestions we often regretted it, because she had gained much wisdom and was usually RIGHT!

Of course, I gave this little gift in good fun, and she was gracious enough at that point to receive it as such!

But, oh my, here's a magnet that MY daughter gave to me!

It certainly reminds me to laugh at myself and try to hold my tongue!

What kind of "cues" did you look for
from your Mother?

What kind of "cues" do you
give to others?


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