Whether your mother is loving or distant, caring or critical, this is a place to stop and reflect about the challenge of that maternal bond.
All daughters and mothers are welcome!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Starting Out...

We start our dance with Mom by crying. Our lungs are assaulted by air, our eyes are blinded by light, the warmth of our mother's womb has been stripped away and we are exposed, naked, cold and held by unfamiliar hands.
The birth process is traumatic...for everyone ... baby, mom and dad.
Inside the womb, we hear our parents voices and experience light and shadow.
Outside of the womb, we continue our journey in relationships by learning how to bond.

It is crucial to learn the dance steps of our particular family.
Does Mom waltz or polka?  Does she square dance or tango?

Will she graciously correct me or fume with anger when I mess up?

I read a book a few years ago that I highly recommend.  It is entitled "A Daughter's Journey Home" by Dr. Linda Mintle. Her tagline reads: Finding a Way to Love, Honor and Connect with Your Mother.

Loving, honoring and connecting are blessings from GOD that are realized in our lives as we consciously choose forgiveness and humility.  I know, because I've been there.  I've felt the sting of unforgiveness and the incredible freedom forgiveness brings.

How about you?

Is there someone who needs your forgiveness today?  Maybe your mother?


  1. Great post Jess. I don't have anyone to forgive right now, but I do have a little anger that needs to be dealt with. Thanks, sweetie.

    Love ya lots,

  2. how did you start a new blog without me knowing about it? this is great! I'm in! love you!

  3. I was the first of my mom's 7 children. I've often wondered what her thoughts were when she gave birth for the first time...We've had a normal relationship (I guess??--some conflict through the teen years) and the older we get, the closer we are. We talk at least once a day on the phone and see each other several times a week. I've had to do some forgiving along the way...I struggled with feelings that I never had a "childhood" because I was always cast into the role of "mommy's little helper" as each new sibling came along. I do have some secrets that will be carried to the grave, a few things I'm quite sure no one else knows about and sometimes I feel like that's not fair. After my brother died suddenly when I was 17 and he was 16, my mom went into a depression and wasn't "there" for me (or the others) for a while. Of course as an adult that was easy to forgive...One day, 35 years after that happened, out of the blue my mom apologized for that. It was very healing...and we've since been able to talk about my brother. So its never too late for forgiveness to flow. Right now, I'm dealing with the changes that aging seems to bring...less tolerance for chaos with the little kids, less ability to use discretion when speaking, etc. She's 81 now...

  4. Oh, Jacque, thanks so much for sharing your heart! What a blessing to have the relation-ship you do with your Mother. From what I know about you, you've strived to be the loving daughter that all mothers want. I know it pleases GOD!
    In the power of Christ, we can all be a blessing to our mothers.
    My mother was an alcoholic and liquor was her traitorous lover until she died. But she had a good heart and loved Christ the last 13 years of her life. HE gave us four years together before she passed to work on our relationship and that is the gist of the book burning in my spirit.
    May GOD enable me to write this book to encourage other daughters to keep on loving and honoring their mothers, it is a blessing worth persuing. Love you friend. =)

  5. I'm crying now. I think you should start a dialogue here about what the bible means when it says to love...and what it doesn't mean. Love is always a decision, not a feeling. And honoring our mothers is a matter of obedience. Not always easy to take the high road. But it's God's way, and it gives us the peace we long for!

  6. Wonderful, Merciful Savior, Blessed Redeemer and Friend! Thinking of that song as I read the above words. How we long for His embrace of Love, the only satisfying Presence! ~Kristine