Some people are REALLY difficult to love! No matter how hard you try, you can't seem to reach them.
Because of past hurts or deep neediness, they seem incapable of receiving the love and affirmation we try desperately to give them. It's like trying to cross a mountain divide on your hands and knees...
I know this because I have lived it.
My mom survived a challenging childhood, where as the oldest of four daughters, she had too much responsibility and not enough care. Since I was a child, I've known that both of my parents lacked unconditional love and both needed parental attention. And though my childhood was not as difficult as theirs (they tried to parent differently), they passed on a lot of the hurts and insecurities that shaped them.
It wasn't until I met the LORD Jesus Christ at the age of 23, that I began to understand what unconditional love is. Until then I never felt good enough, thin enough, loved enough or even understood!
You see, how can you pass on deep and lasting affirmation if you've never experienced it? How can you give good water from a dry or poisoned well?
Apart from a relationship with Christ, I believe it is almost impossible to "give" to another person the positive emotions you don't possess yourself.
I wrote the following poem in response to my mother's reactions, after years of trying to please her and show her my love...
You’re a hard one to please,
With your penchant for rejection.
You’re so difficult to approach
With your fighter’s stance.
It’s you against the world,
And there’s no second chance.
My daughter’s heart, though bruised,
Always yearns for connection, yet -
Only God can show you
How much you’ve been loved.
Only He can take away the veil.
Only God can touch the nerve of denial,
That keeps your heart from appreciating…
The many kind deeds,
The many sweet thoughts,
The many sincere prayers –
I’ve offered through the years.
*******No, I never gave this to her. Just writing it was cathartic and enabled me to start afresh.
The exciting thing is that Mom eventually gave her heart to Christ and her ability to accept love and return it grew. How wonderful it was to watch...how wonderful it is to see the transforming LOVE of JESUS
in other's lives!
Continue to change me too, oh GOD!
For, indeed ~ YOU ARE ENOUGH.