Whether your mother is loving or distant, caring or critical, this is a place to stop and reflect about the challenge of that maternal bond.
All daughters and mothers are welcome!



Friday, September 3, 2010

Releasing


Aprons are not as common as they were in the mid 1900's but they are still very useful for...
protecting one's clothes, drying one's hands and attaching one's children!
No doubt you've heard the expression, "Cut the apron strings" which refers to releasing one's offspring into society...to sink or swim, falter or fly.  What a hard thing to do!

As more of my friends lament their children's departure for college, and others prepare for weddings and the birth of grandchildren, I'm keenly aware of the "letting go" process.  In fact, since the month of September marks the beginning of school in many places, with a multitude of  kids going off to kindergarten or freshman year, shouldn't we recognize the grieving Moms left behind? 

Maybe we could proclaim a national holiday sponsored by the Kleenex Corporation to honor those struggling to "cut their children loose."  How about a "Good Job! Mom" Holiday filled with roses and balloons and CHOCOLATE.  Are you with me?

My two children are only 20 months apart in age, so when my daughter was driving and working at a fast food restaurant, my son was right behind her.  He even landed a job at the same restaurant and many evenings they would be working the same shift.  Often, my husband and I went for ice cream so that we could sit and "watch" our kids!  Pretty pathetic ...and fattening!  I think the rest of the staff got a kick out of us, though we may have embarrassed our children a bit (not intentionally mind you).

When I was struggling with my emptying nest, a dear friend who was many years my senior sent me the following.  It really helped me and maybe it will help you or someone you know.

Questions To Grow On ~
by Janet Hitchman

Where have you felt the touch of the Lord the strongest?
In the protected harbor, or on the open sea?
Does the soft breeze challenge you to grow?
Or the storm that blows you from the security of home?
Is it time to let the young eagle fly, so it can strengthen it's wings?
Or continue to carry it on your back?

Interesting how the Lord uses the trials and traumas in our lives
to draw us closer to HIM!
His desire is to use us for His Glory...
And the Giants of the faith are those who go through the crucible of fire.
He is always with us and will never forsake us!
Praise to His Glorious Name!

                                                  *****
As a Mom, my job is to raise my children to love and trust their Heavenly Father.
Then comes the day when they need to walk with Him apart from my steadying
hand and tethering apron strings.  Just as the umbilical cord was cut at birth, so I have to release my grown children to their own lives.  Not an easy task, but so fulfilling with the right perspective.
It's not that we stop dancing with our kids, it's just that the tempo and footwork change!
I'm still learning this new dance, how about you?

6 comments:

  1. Oh, Jessica....I can so relate to your words of wisdom here! Perfect timing for me, as I am learning to let go, yet to another level, as my daughter will be married in 21 days!! And another comment that I heard recently was "All that matters in life is that we love God and honor Him"....soooo, as we spend quiet time with our Lord and seek to love Him and honor Him with our lives, then everything else will fall into place...which includes letting go of our young adult children. God will teach us, as we lean on Him for guidance and wisdom in all that we say and do. :)
    Love you, dear friend. Thanks so much for putting to pen your thoughts and for following God's prompting to create this "mother-daughter" blog to be an encouragement to others. You are a blessing to many, including me! :) God bless you abundantly! --Michelle

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  2. HI AGAIN,
    WHAT A GREAT POST, EVERY WORD SO TRUE!!
    WHY IS SUCH A GOOD THING, SUCH A HARD THING!!
    LOTS TO LEARN THAT'S WHY!! LOL
    I HAVE LEARNED TO JUST CRY LORD HELP ME LET THEM GO, AND AMAZINGLY HE DOES!!
    THERE IS NO GREATER JOY THAT WATCHING YOUR BIRDIES FLY, EVEN IN THE PAIN OF LETTING THEM GO, IT IS SO GRATIFYING TO SEE THAT GOD USES US TO GROW THEM UP, OH, WE OFT TIMES DON'T SEE THAT TILL A FEW YEARS DOWN THE ROAD AND THEN MORE AND MORE YOU BEGIN TO SEE YOUR IMPRINT ON THEM FOR GOOD OR BAD!! LOL
    WHAT A WONDERFUL BLESSING WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN
    TO BE MOM'S REALLY!!
    YES, AND THERE REALLY SHOULD BE A MOM GRIEF AND CELEBRATION DAY!!
    LOVE YA, NELLIE

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  3. Hey My Love,
    As usual you have captured the gamut of emotion involved with raising, nurturing, training, and releasing our children into the world to be the Salt and Light that God desires them to be. You are so right, it is not an easy process letting go because you are releasing your masterpieces into a world which may little appreciate the reflections of God which they are. But with HIM as their protector, they will be great witnesses for him. I believe there are many women who would applaud a national "Well done mom" day! Maybe we should suggest it to Hallmark!
    Love,
    Tony

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  4. Thanks for the tears, Jess! This was a great post...all of us moms can relate, even if we raised sons and not daughters. I love the story about going for ice cream. I bet you left big tips too! LOL!

    Seriously, I posted on this same subject last year if you have time to read it:

    http://lifebetweenthebuns.blogspot.com/2009/03/life-transitions-letting-go-of-your.html

    I read something recently that sums it all up: We spend years teaching our children how to be independent, then we cry when they leave us and be independent.

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  5. Nice to meet you, Jess. And thank you for stopping by my blog earlier! You are right, it is tough to cut the apron strings, but it is an important part of life as our children mature. I'm all for the chocolate and flowers!

    Living for Him, Joan

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  6. Hi! Jess, I'm finally here! Your family is so precious! I forgot to tell you on the other is that My daughter is still playing with my blog! She just cannot get something to work she says. I told her just to leave it alone, I will want something for Christmas!(I haven't gotten into all of the real computer stuff yet!Ha-Ha! anyway loved this blog, daughters are such a special gift! Mine keeps me going! Blessings for a great week!

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