Grandma Likes to PARTY

Reaching for the silly lunch box stored high on a shelf in my pantry, my minded flooded with happy thoughts.  A gift from my last birthday, it reminded me of the importance of celebration.  

For folks like me, a bunch of balloons and noise makers, coupled with streamers and cupcakes, really make our hormones bubble!  Birthdays and anniversaries, holidays and holy days, give us great excuses to PARTY.  And why not?  Jesus told us that He came to give us abundant life (John 10:10); and when we think of all He has done in our lives, our spirits want to celebrate.

Over the centuries, however, Christians have gotten a bad rap. Often seen as legalistic, dour and sour, believers have often been categorized as party-poopers. Though we are called to avoid excess, and reject practices that don’t glorify God, there is much we celebrate and numerous fun ways to do it.  Godly celebration is all about thanksgiving, people and joy.  As humans we are created to experience deep joy and contentment.  Knowing our Creator God, and expressing worship to His Name, releases joy that is difficult to describe.  The Old Testament prophet Nehemiah proclaimed “the joy of the LORD is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

            Yet many days are filled with trouble and challenge, making celebration all the more necessary. A new baby, a new job, graduations, and an Eagle Scout Court of Honor are all worthy of festivities marking the events. I thank God that He made us to be a celebratory people who find joy in singing and dancing.  When we are grateful for His blessings, our joy grows exponentially; and memories of past celebrations relieve stress and bring smiles.

            Last July I was blessed by forty folks who gathered to celebrate my birthday.  It was an unusual celebration for a middle-aged woman to say the least…my party centered around the Minion characters of the “Despicable Me” movies.  I’m sure some friends feared I’d gone off the deep end, while others joined neck-deep in the frivolity.  A sweet neighbor made minion cupcakes, another friend helped decorate, a few came in costume, and all had a grand time!  There were coloring pages for the young-at-heart, a photo shoot space, balloons and prizes…my kind of party. The presents I received were all wonderful, and my friends’ presence even more so. My college roommate, a precious gal I met forty years ago, made an appearance by flying down from New York to join the festivities. Truly my heart brimmed with contentment as I testified to God’s goodness in my life in front of such caring folks.

Yes, this grandma has a Minion lunch box and a love for celebration. How about you?

SERENDIPITOUS

Serendipitous… I love the sound of that word.  Try saying it slowly. When I do, my mouth moves through the syllables normally, until the “dip” part causes my lips to slap in a playful way. The mechanics of it make me pause and even smile. Yet, I can’t remember ever saying it aloud before; haven’t had an occasion to, in everyday conversation.  When I looked up the definition I learned it’s an adjective, meaning: “something occurs, or is discovered by chance, in a happy or beneficial way.” I never expected an unplanned inconvenience, on a dreary, rain soaked day, could turn into a serendipitous occasion. This is what happened.

                        

While driving south to the airport, so a sweet friend could catch a flight back home, I swung my sun visor to the side to shield against the glare.   My sudden movement caused the garage door opener to fling off its perch. Now, my car is small and the opener is the only one I have, so I made a mental note to check for it when I exited the car to say my “good-byes.”  Of course, caught up in a quick emotional farewell, I failed to look for the opener.  Once in River City, busy with errands, I remembered to check under my seat and in the back of the car.  To my dismay, no garage open could be found!

Storm clouds gathered as I decided to back track to the airport to see if the opener had landed on the pavement outside Departing Flights.  Perhaps it was retrieved by a good Samaritan… but no such luck. The courteous gal at curbside check-in said no garage door opener had been turned in, and told me to talk to the security guard about locating the lost and found department.  At that point, all I imagined was a fruitless search, brimming with frustration, and the sinking feeling I had lost our only garage door opener.

What was I to do?  I envisioned myself paying for parking, and traipsing all over the airport in a probable vain attempt to right my world. So, I decided to pray about the situation, small as it was. Then I called my husband, and a dear prayer partner, asking for their petitions and support. Some of you might think I make mountains out of mole hills, or that I definitely have a screw loose; but when I remember to pray about small aggravations, I often encounter sweet blessings. Such was the case that day.

To my surprise, the security guard standing on the curb didn’t “shoo” me away, nor was he impatient with me. Instead of being gruff, demanding that I not doddle along the curb of Departing Flights, he calmly looked up the phone number for the Lost & Found. Truly a gentleman, he wished me well and allowed me to linger while I called in search of my lost garage door opener.  The attendant manning the Lost & Found was equally polite as he took my information and didn’t downplay my situation. Stunned by the unexpected courtesy from both of these men, I was delighted to thank them and compliment them on their service.

Driving away into the storm, without my opener, my heart smiled.  I was able to offer sincere appreciation to two customer service employees, who might not normally get affirmed in the course of a long day’s work. Indeed, I sensed God’s pleasure as I complimented them and spread a little of His love serendipitously!

Not only did my inconvenience bless others, but my Heavenly Father blessed me.  That evening, my husband was able to locate our rascally garage door opener camouflaged in a cranny of the back seat!  A truly serendipitous answer to prayer.  

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding.

But in all your ways acknowledge HIM 

and HE will make your paths straight."

Proverbs 3:5-6 KJV

I've Been Tagged!

My sweet friend Nellie Todd over at Nellie's Cozy Place tagged me today to answer the following questions!  Well...why not?  Those of you who have read my book already now so much about me, but these question prompts are more about personal likes.  How about you?  What would your answers be?

1) Are you named for someone?
     Yes. I was named after my precious Aunt Cherie.  Cherie is my middle name and it means my dear in    French.

2) When was the last time you cried?
     Last Tuesday morning. I had just finished a book by Kristin Hannah, and the drama she wrote really        tugged at my heart.

3) Do you have Kiddos?
    Yes, I am blessed to have a daughter and a son, both grown and living in Kentucky, a loooong drive from     my home.

4) If you were another person, would you be a friend to yourself?
    I have to admit, I've never thought about such a question!  But, I would say "yes," because I love having       friends and being a friend, so I think I would be-friend myself. LOL

5) Do you have a guilty pleasure?
    I really love ice cream, but don't buy it or eat it because of the sugar count.

6) Do you like handwriting?
    I always wished my handwriting was prettier, like my mom's and mother-in-law's.  I treasure handwritten   notes, but do most of my writing on the computer.

7) What is your favorite cereal?
    Oatmeal (hot) or Cranberry Almond Crunch by Post

8) What is the first thing you notice about people?
    Whether or not they are smiling.

9) What is the color of your eyes?
    Blue/Grey.  I lady I worked for in a law office one summer (when I was in college) told me that my eyes are the color of the ocean.  I've always remembered her saying that.  It was such a sweet comment.

10) Scary movie or Happy ending?
    Definitely a Happy Ending!!!  I don't enjoy suspense at all.

11) Favorite TV Shows?
     Well, my husband is a Fox News junkie; but besides that, we enjoy Blue Bloods with Tom                     Selleck, and Restaurant Impossible with Robert Irvine.

12) Do you like winter or summer?
     Living in the hot and humid South, I suppose I prefer winter, when we get a break!

13) Hugs or Kisses?
     Can a girl pick BOTH?

14) Do you have a special talent?
     I suppose I have a talent for encouraging others, and for stringing words together.

15) Where were you born?
     I was born in New York City.  Hardly lived there though.

16) What are your hobbies?
     Reading, Writing, Drawing, Painting and scrapbooking.

17) Do you have any pets?
     I would dearly love a dog or cat or bunny rabbit. Alas, I have allergies and can not have pets.

18) What's your favorite movie(s)?
     Miss Potter / August Rush / Young Victoria

19) What color is your car?
     Awww, over ten years ago I got a PT Cruiser which I had custom painted after my son damaged the side      panel.  It is two-toned and I consider it my "mid life crisis wheels!"

20) What do you want to be when you grow up?
     A popular author and speaker, making a difference in the lives of others by sharing God's Truth.
  Maybe someday that dream will come true!


Now, precious ones, I'd love to hear your answers!

And I'm TAGGING a few sweet friends...

Jacquelyn Stager at Life Between the Buns
Elaine Olsen at Peace for the Journey
Linda at Spiritual Memoirs 101

Our FLAG...

Stands for FREEDOM!

I'm emotional this year, as we celebrate the 4th of July.
Perhaps because the America I love is changing so rapidly; perhaps because I sense a growing disdain for our country, our flag, our freedoms.

Maybe I'm feeling this way because I have lived in other countries and saluted other flags while studying in foreign lands. I truly believe that AMERICA is Exceptional!  The Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave.  I've heard it said that no other country gives the amount of money in foreign aid that we do!  Our humanitarian efforts are unsurpassed. Yes, we are opinionated, but we are generous and quick to help those in need. I pray that we won't give in to a lethargic, critical, socialistic attitude; but that we will esteem our roots: the blessing of GOD and the bravery of those who purchased our national freedom. May we continue to be defenders of life, liberty and happiness.

AMERICA the Beautiful!
AMERICA the Caring!
AMERICA the Free!

Join me in praying for this awesome country, that our leaders will have wisdom from on high, and that they will acknowledge the blessing of Almighty GOD.  May we humble ourselves and turn from our sinful ways (the greed and selfishness that tries to overtake us), and seek the face of our CREATOR.

GOD SAVE AMERICA!
2 Chronicles 7:14

LOVE Without Conditions

Growing up, love was elusive.  The more I wanted to feel connected, the more distance I sensed.  I suppose that’s common in households with substance abuse. When parents struggle to squelch their own emotional pain, there’s not much energy left to tend to their children’s hearts and souls.

In my house, Mother was a classy, complicated alcoholic.  Our relationship was always strained.  Still, as her firstborn and only daughter, I yearned for closeness.  Then, after years of shouldering her pain and meeting her needs, I finally broke free.  Unfortunately, the scene that followed my betrayal of independence was the stuff of nightmares.

Mom was starting a new life in Colorado, ending a failed 20 year marriage to my dad.  She needed my help with the drive from New Jersey, and the unpacking.  The journey would take nearly three weeks (the summer before my senior year of college), so I left my part-time jobs and my boyfriend, to be of service.  Everything about that trip was a challenge! To top it off, the movers were delayed by over a week.

Unable to settle her “nest,” tensions ran high in my mother who tried desperately to control the issues and people in her life.  Her fury reached a crescendo one August afternoon when I took the initiative to call the airlines, reserving a return flight to Jersey.  Mom’s thinking probably went like this: How dare my daughter take matters into her own hands!  How unfair of her to choose to leave before the movers arrive… before all the work of unpacking!

Oblivious to anyone else’s needs, Mom’s anger reached a new zenith as soon as I hung up the phone. Immediately she unleashed a tirade of abuse that scorched my soul.  Mom physically backed me into the guest room, where I cowered in the corner, hands over my face.  Though I began to sob uncontrollably, she continued to spew her rage.  As she exited the room, slamming the door, she screamed, “You are the scum of the earth!”

I was stunned and broken hearted.  Once again, my efforts to help my mother had fallen short.  It wasn’t my fault that the movers were delayed and we were in limbo, roaming an empty house.   But I had taken a stand, making a decision that was best for me, and she was livid. The wounds her tongue inflicted that day left lifelong bruises.  All I wanted was to feel loved, and instead I was labeled a disappointment.

Ever since childhood, I thought love was something you earned.  Maybe if I worked hard enough in school and brought home stellar grades, I’d feel loved.  Maybe if I kept my mouth shut, and only spoke kind words, I’d feel loved.  Maybe if I agreed with everyone’s opinion, I’d feel loved. Maybe if I lost the extra weight, I’d feel loved.  It seemed to me only those who were beautiful and compliant were loved.

            However, when the standard is perfection everyone fails.  When love is conditional, no one feels secure.   It took years for me to understand I wasn’t alone in my struggle to feel loved. I finally realized that imperfect parents, who felt unloved as children, often pass the same feelings to their offspring.  But there is One who loves us beyond measure; the One who gave His life so we could experience true love, and live whole. 

            A couple of years after I first met Jesus, He confronted the neediness in my heart.  It had been over 6 years since that awful episode with my mother, and I was now eight months pregnant with my first child.  Taking an afternoon break with a book in hand, I lounged on the sofa with my legs propped up. The afternoon sun filtered through the curtains, spreading a delightful warmth over my body as my baby kicked softly inside my womb. Absorbed in the words I was reading, I relaxed and relished the stillness of the house.

            Suddenly I hear a voice say, “Let me love you.  Let me love you.”

            At once I recognized the speaker.  How like God to interrupt my thoughts, affirming my heart with gentle assurance.  He loves me despite my imperfections and shortcomings.  Ever the gentleman, He asked me to accept His unconditional love.  What a blessing!  And just in time.  Within weeks I would begin my own motherhood journey.  I needed to be secure in Jesus’ unconditional love, so I could pass it on to my daughter…even if imperfectly.

HEART HEALING SUMMER READING...

GIVE-AWAY!

This summer, when schedules relax a little, take time to tend to your heart!
Just as we need to keep after the weeds in our gardens, we also need to weed our hearts for "roots" of unforgiveness and resentment.

Because my memoir, THE MOTHER GAP, addresses how forgiveness brings connection and peace, I'm offering it along with another timely book as a summer Give-Away.  If you've already read these, they still make wonderful gifts!

Here's how you enter to win:  Leave a comment here about a lesson you learned from your mom that has made a difference in your life.  I will take the names of those who comment, and add them to the comments on our FB page The Mother Gap... drawing a name on JUNE 29th!

Summer Blessings~

The FORGIVENESS Factor

What if there was a new reality show where all the contestants demonstrated Forgiveness?  Let's say the format revolved around recounting instances when folks forgave others and experienced the release of joy and freedom which comes with the true act of overlooking another's faults.  How uplifting would that be?

Forgiveness is something we desperately need.
After all, "to err is human," and we certainly mess up from time to time!
The dilemma is in extending forgiveness when we've been wronged.
It's so challenging when we're hurt, to let go of the grievance, whether small or large.
Hanging on to insults, affronts or thoughtless actions is so much easier.

But then GOD shows us a better way to live in the life and work of His Son, JESUS.
For Love, Jesus endured the torture of the cross and paid for our sins.
His example encourages us let go of bitterness and resentment.
His HOLY SPIRIT enables us to overlook and forgive.

My book "The Mother Gap" is a memoir of learning to love and accept one of the most important people in our lives...our mothers.

It's available on Amazon, so check it out!

~ Live Loved, and Forgive ~

Honoring MOTHERS!

In honor of all the hard working, caring and loving MOMs, here is a Tea Time Give-Away!

Three ways to enter:

1) Share something about your mother on this blog post within the next 8 days and your name will be entered in the drawing for the Tea Time Basket.

2 & 3) Leave a comment on Amazon for my book THE MOTHER GAP (only if you've read it of course), and/or check out the video trailer on YouTube to leave a comment there.

SO THERE ARE THREE PLACES YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR NAME!

We will pick the WINNER randomly at 7pm EST on Mother's Day, Sunday, May 11th and notify the them by email to get a shipping address.  All the folks who have already posted comments are included!!!

God bless you this Mother's Day and always~

Almost May and Mother's Day!

Hi All,

As we say "Goodbye" to the month of April this week, I pray that your spring is off to a joyous start!

With May approaching, I'm delighted to see THE MOTHER GAP touching so many hearts.
Do you know someone who feels alienated from her mom?  Or perhaps, a young mother who might benefit from my memoir and treasure her children more.  Copies of my book can be purchased at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, or directly from me.  It makes a great gift!

Oh, and I want to share a brand new video trailer for the book.  What do you think?
Please leave me a comment with your thoughts.



Blessings!
Jessica

JESUS Bridges the Mother/Daughter GAP!

I have a DESIRE and a GOAL!

My DESIRE is to see every woman encouraged in her relationship with her mother, no matter how difficult it is. If hurting daughters receive healing, they won't pass "the hurting" on to their loved ones.

My GOAL is to raise awareness of my newest book, THE MOTHER GAP, by gathering over 100 reviews on Amazon! Can you help me by inviting your friends and family to read it, and post a review? Please spread the news.

And BTW, I'm planning a sweet Mother's Day Give-Away for the person whose name is drawn from those who post reviews (everyone who has posted is eligible)...only 32 days from now. More info to come!

Only Eight Hours Left!

Only eight hours left to post a review of THE MOTHER GAP on Amazon!
If you make the deadline (March 29th at 7:00pm), your name will be included in a raffle.  Someone will receive the sweet canvas tote bag below.  Perfect for Mother's Day!  Or course, the book is a great gift idea too.

THE MOTHER GAP: A Daughter's Search for Connection is available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and through me directly.

Have a Great Saturday Y'all!

~Blessings~

Give-Away Tote

Hi Precious Ones,

If you follow me on FaceBook, you know that I am drawing names this coming Sunday (March 30) to give away a sweet, canvas tote bag.

The way to get your name in the game, is to leave a review of my latest book, THE MOTHER GAP, on Amazon.  I will collect all the names of those who posted and do a random drawing.
I wonder who will win???

And, it's not too early to be thinking of Mother's Day gifts!
Do you know a woman who has felt disconnected from her mom, or her daughter?  This book would be an excellent gift, especially if she trusts in God.  He is the Bridge of Forgiveness that brings connection and healing into our lives.

Blessings to you and yours!

Spiritual Memoirs 101: Congrats to Jessica Errico on publishing The Mothe...

As Winter sends its last hard chill, my friend Linda over at Spiritual Memoirs 101, asked to interview me regarding my new book.  Click on the link below to check it out!

Spiritual Memoirs 101: Congrats to Jessica Errico on publishing The Mothe...: Congratulations to Jessica Errico on publishing her memoir, The Mother Gap , her story of trying to connect with her alcoholic mother. ...

An Eternal Valentine!

No sooner do candy canes disappear from store shelves, than heart- shaped boxes of chocolate fill the aisles.  Stuffed animals, in all shapes and sizes, holding red or pink hearts, parade through stores for our perusal. Card companies and Jewelry franchises market “the sharing of LOVE,” as if Valentine’s Day is the only day on earth we show our affection. As predictable as candy corn at Halloween, February ushers in heart-shaped balloons that beckon us to celebrate.  I know this, because I’ve stood in long lines at the Dollar Store more than once this week!

Despite all of the commercialization, the essence of Valentine’s Day is important, dare I say, essential.  Mankind was created for fellowship, and fellowship springs from caring, which springs from love. In the beginning, a loving Heavenly Father fashioned man and woman in His image; creating us for community with Him and with each other.  Our need to be loved is central to our core. 

Yet, why is it that many flounder to receive love, let alone extend it?  Why do angry and resentful attitudes, jealous and selfish motives, and cruel and thoughtless words often mar our relationships? 

Could one answer to these questions be as simple as, our efforts to protect a “woundedness” we naturally feel inside?  Ever since Adam and Eve chose to disobey God in the Garden, there has been a disconnect with our loving Heavenly Father, a gap.  Disobedience breaks fellowship, and causes us to defend our position in order to protect ourselves.  Afraid of being hurt, or losing control, we often shut God out, as well as the people around us.  The “silent treatment” we sometimes employ with loved ones comes to mind. 

 No wonder Blaise Pascal, renowned mathematician and philosopher, wrote the following: “There is a God shaped vacuum in the heart of every man which cannot be filled by any created thing, but only by God, the Creator, made known through Jesus.”

Indeed, after half a century on this earth, I understand how we naturally try to fill the God shaped hole in our hearts with anything but Him.   Expensive things and gadgets, education and fame, lovely houses and large bank accounts…nothing can meet our need for true love and fellowship, but a relationship with Christ!  For, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13).

The most important Valentine ever given was written in the precious blood of Jesus. 

He paid for the debt of our sin on the cross, so we might be restored to a loving relationship with Father God.  His Valentine is eternal!  For all who will receive His sacrificial gift, our hearts are healed and our capacity to love renewed. The love of Christ fills all our gaps.  Happy Valentine’s Day!

A Needed Shelter

Brrrrrrrr it’s cold out there!  This is the coldest January I can remember since 1999 when I first moved to the South.  Of course the rest of the country is struggling with record snows and winds, and I bet memories of this winter’s Polar Vortex (our layering-up and piling on covers), are bound to linger for a long time.

Such extreme weather has reminded me to appreciate my home much more than I usually do.  Apart from a cozy place to display my knick-knacks and entertain friends, my house is a strong shelter from the elements for which I am so grateful.  I don’t want to take for granted such a basic provision, or forget those who are challenged with homelessness.  Too many families struggle daily to maintain a roof over their heads. 

As I ponder these things, a prayer comes to mind that leads in an unexpected direction:

“Please Lord, use me and others to help those in need to find shelter.  In these tough times, give us hearts to support local agencies that help our neighbors who are challenged financially. ..and help us provide encouragement and support to those who may be the most vulnerable: the unborn and the women who carry them.”

You see, the month of January is not only COLD, it brings the reminder that tiny, pre-born Americans need the shelter of the wombs in which they grow.  It is a “Be Kind to the Unborn” month, as churches and Christians focus on the sanctity of human life; calling us to protect women in crisis and the babies nestled under their rib cages.  Sometimes this truth hits me like a slap in the face, when I realize that I’ve forgotten how important it is to provide women and children with alternatives to abortion.

Life is so Precious! The lives of women and innocent babies deserve options, and tangible support, so that both can live.  Please consider donating your time or money to your local pregnancy care center. There, they offer a message of Hope to those who are feeling hopeless, to those who need a shelter from overwhelming circumstances.  And for those who have experienced abortion, our love and understanding can be a shelter that helps them heal.

During these cold months of winter, may we resolve to be warm-hearted people of compassion; lifting up God’s name, for “The Name of the LORD is a strong fortress; the godly run to him and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10

Warmth and Peace to you and yours!

THE MOTHER GAP

Happy New Year to Y'All!

Finally, after three years and countless hours glued to my computer, my memoir of searching for connection with my mother is finished!  The Mother Gap is in the final editing process and should be available early March (or SOONER!).

Are you curious?  Check out my video clip at http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-mother-gap/x/5893292

I'm praying that my story will bring encouragement to a multitude of women who want a better relationship with their mothers.  Truly, GOD can bridge the gaps in our hearts and in our relationships!

Blessings always!

Jessica